The Expected Linearity of Life
What I am about to say shouldn't be a surprise to you. Many motivational speakers have been saying this since the dawn of that pseudoscience. But we must incorporate this into our daily decision-making process.
Many of us, and I include myself here, think of life as a linear progression. Should something deviate us from that linearity we often feel sad, and upset, with many people falling into the traps of mental health issues (e.g. anxiety, depression). For example, you go to university, get an internship, find an entry-level job, get promoted occasionally or change your job to better roles until you retire. That is, roughly, what the average individual expects of life.
If you are young(ish), I know what you are thinking: "oh come on, I will travel the world, hike Everest, wild camp somewhere exotic" - that is a fair goal to have and nothing prevents you from doing so. However, you must recognise that, in all likelihood, you will live a pretty average life - and there is nothing wrong with that. With all the disasters, crises, and misery in the world, a pretty average life is an accomplishment.
I recently had some contact with refugees living in a camp. These people were dealt one of the hardest hands in life. Having to live with 7 other people in a 20 sqm room, no money, no job, barely supporting their children, just because a madman or a group of madmen decided to start a war. I am not necessarily talking about Ukraine. I am talking about all the places where once life was peaceful, but people had to flee due to war, political or/and economic instability. The lives of these people are everything but linear.
Yet again, I know what you are thinking: "Oh ok, but it's their problem and their circumstances. Mines are different". First of all, take a moment to be grateful for how lucky you are. You did not have to run away from your home or be separated from your loved ones who are still fighting back home.
Expecting that life is going to be linear is silly. What if you always wanted to be a painter, a musician, or a pilot, but there was always something in the way? You say to yourself "it's a matter of luck, or I am not talented enough, or the training is too expensive". Life got in the way and you went another path. You are a somewhat successful marketing executive. You have a safe job, providing for your family, but... you are stuck in a rut. You keep thinking "what if...". "What if I pursued music?". "What if I tried to become a pilot?". "Well, I can't do that now. I have already a safe job. I should focus on getting promoted". What is the worst that could happen if you started taking music classes in your free time? Or if you started pilot training during the weekends?
What would be so bad about going from a senior role (e.g. marketing exec) back to a student role (e.g. student pilot)? The way other people see you? Are you afraid they will think "he/she doesn't know what he/she wants"? Or "It's a mid-life crisis"? There is a simple solution to this - just ask yourself: are you living your life or someone else's? Follow whatever you are passionate about, even if only as a part-time hobby and you will find your happiness flourishing.
What if you were just made redundant? A recession might be on the horizon and companies (e.g. Tesla) are downsizing. You thought you were up for a promotion last year and today you are being let go. Not ideal, but it happens. Now you can be depressed about it or recognise that this is part of the 'non-linearity of life'. Now it is time to retrain into another role, pursue a passion you may have, or just dedicate more time to your family.
The average person's life is like the stock market. It has its ups and downs, but, if you look back, the tendency is to move upwards. Take the time to appreciate what you currently have, and plan for a more fulfilling life by following your passion(s).
